Headaches, Migraines, and Xanax

About ten years ago, I had the frightening experience of seeing diamond shaped objects zig-zagging across my field of vision.  It was distracting enough that I couldn't read or drive.  I called my doctor.  Her primary concern was that I might have had a transient ischemic attack, or mini-stroke.  After lots of tests, they found no evidence of a stroke.  It was a migraine.  I've had a few more of them over the years; one of them was the dreaded "vomiting migraine" where I had to stay in my bedroom, in the dark, lying still until it passed.  I still get the occasional migraine, but I recognize it and it doesn't frighten me.  

I have always had headaches, even when I was a child.  I remember coming home from school with my head aching so much that I had to lie down before I could eat dinner or attack my homework.  This went on and got worse through the years.  I regret all the time that I missed with my family because I had to rest and have my "alone time" until the headache subsided.  

When the headaches got so bad that I was struggling to get through a day, I dragged my sorry self to a neurologist.  This doctor made it clear that he honest to God wanted to hear about my day.  He said, "Let's just sit here for a while and talk about your day.  How does it begin?  What happens?  How does it end?" At that time, I had the misfortune of working with a truly horrible woman who seemed to take great joy in making everyone around her suffer.  She was brutal; even the kindest, sweetest colleagues lost their tempers with this woman.  I hate to admit it, but I cried after one of our confrontations.  CRIED!!! at work!!!  Because of this woman, I was looking into other employment when I finally got to the neurologist.  I told him everything about my day, particularly about the effect the bitch was having one me. (I don't know if I actually said "bitch," but it is accurate and appropriate.)  He sat there, calmly, listening to me, not interrupting me, just hearing what I was telling him.  

That doctor changed my life.  I'm being very honest here: he suggested that my anxiety level had reached the point where I was making myself sick.  He prescribed Xanax.  I suppose some people might be ashamed to admit that they needed Xanax to get through life, but I am not ashamed.  The very day I began my Xanax prescription, I noticed something very unusual.  I was driving home from work, and my head didn't hurt!!!  My head didn't hurt at all.  It was like a miracle.  I didn't have to take a nap before I cooked dinner.  I didn't have to tell my family that I needed to be alone before I could engage with them.  

I haven't needed Xanax for a while.  I'm retired; I get to choose what I want to do and with whom I want to spend my time.  I am grateful that I am not dependent on any drugs but Synthroid, but I am also grateful for the doctor who diagnosed my anxiety and the root of my severe headaches.  He gave me my life back.